The Price of Perfection
by AModernMyth
Summary: Tawny and Ren have known each other for years, but now Tawny has a secret that will put everything out of its place, and Ren’s feelings are somewhat changing.
1. These Things I'll Never Say

Well hello my pretties, I hope you like my story! I like it, which is unusual, I don't usually like my own work…….hmmm, but hey I like this one.

Anyway, I'm not what you'd call "New to Fanfiction" but this is the first story I've posted on my own, I've co-written a cheesy Eowyn/Aragorn,but hey.

So here we are, A nice juicy Tawny/Ren, one of my favourite pairings. evil grin

Disclaimer: I do not own Even Stevens. The show and it's characters all belong to Disney, and the actors all belong to themselves…….sniff breaks into uncontrollable sobs If the show belonged to me, Ren and Tawny would be mine forever………..muahahaha

This first chapter is Tawny's POV, this is a POV story from both Tawny and Ren.

_Things I'll Never Say_

_To believe in perfection is to believe that one unique person out there is the most wonderful being in the world, as far as I've ever been able to tell. So far in my short life, I have come to the conclusion that to believe anyone is perfect, you must be fully willing to believe that there is nothing wrong with this person in your eyes._

_When I think of the concept of perfection, I've always found it ironic that there is such a thing as being too perfect. Does this make someone any less perfect?_

_Not for me, in my case the way a certain person in my life is bordering too perfect only increases the way I feel about them, and at the same time increases my confusion. You could say, as another ironic fact, that the person who I see as the epitomy of perfection confuses me more than anyone else on this earth._

_This person that I am unreasoningly babbling on about does have a name, and once I say the name, you will understand. Because you know her, as I do. And because everyone knows she's perfect._

"_she" is Ren Stevens. _

_When I moved to Sacramento in the summer of sixth grade, and started at Lawrence, Louis was the perfect friend for me. We were both fun-loving kids, and to me, Louis was funny, and a good friend. I had a crush on Louis for years, even though he didn't know it until a fateful accident came along. I actually thought I was in love with him right up until halfway through last year, before this whole thing with Ren got completely out of control. But back to my story…_

_It wasn't long after I met him that I first met Ren, on one of my first days at Lawrence. I liked her straight away, during the next few months, Ren became a role model for me, someone I wanted desperately to be like, but I realised after a while that we were two very different people. She was Renée Stevens, perfection in every form, I was the short little gothy new girl who wrote strange poems in English class._

_I guess I was about fourteen when I realised how much I liked Ren. I was always around at the Stevens' house for some reason or another, and when Louis had me and Twitty staying overnight after his fourteenth birthday party, I had to sleep in Ren's room. It was that night that I realised that I actually had a rather large crush on her. _

_I'd known for a while that, other than Louis, I wasn't into guys. I would date them, but I knew from an early age that I looked at girls with more interest. Well, I wouldn't say girls, more like I looked at Ren with more interest. The other girls at school all only seemed to be interested in the same things, and their main ambition in life seemed to be to date the popular captain of the football team or get into the cheerleading squad. Ren wasn't like those airheads. She was smart, collected, gorgeous and fiercely independent. She was also the only person on the planet with the power to make my heart pound and my legs grow weak with a single smile. After a while I began to realise what my heart was truing to tell me. _

_I no longer wanted to be Ren, I wanted to be with Ren._

_I was confused for a long time about my feelings, about how I couldn't stop thinking about her, the way she smiled or laughed, the way her hair fell in her face when she leant over a book, the way her eyes flashed whenever she got mad at Louis….yes, my feelings had definitely changed somewhat. In short, I had fallen for my best friends older sister. _

_When things started to change, when my feelings for Ren grew stronger, I was scared, although I think a part of me knew that it was right, it had to happen. _

_So for now, I keep it hidden, living in hope of a miracle. Living in hope that there is some alternate universe or something where dreams do come true and Ren and I can be together. _

"Tawny, hey Tawn, watch this". Louis's voice echoes through the library, causing all hard working students of Lawrence High to give him that glare that most people have reserved _just _for him.

I sigh, and raise an appraising eyebrow at him.. God only knows what Louis and Twitty were up to these days, and to be completely honest, I didn't want to know. Something involving skipping gym class. Again.

To be completely honest, I wasn't paying much attention to them, I had work to do. Well to be _completely _honest, I wasn't paying much attention to that either, not with Ren sitting in front of the computers on the other side of the room. I sneaked another furtive glance at her. God she's beautiful, she always has been. A lock of her chestnut hair falls out from behind her ear, and my fingers itch to brush it back.

My heart speeds up as she looks up suddenly, feeling my gaze upon her. She smiles, making my insides do a somersault, and rolls her eyes at Louis and Twitty, who are now having some lame little play fight on the other side of the table. She stands up, oh god, she's coming over…

"Hey" she says, dumping her stuff on the table and sitting down. " I thought you looked like you needed rescuing from monkey one and monkey two."

I laughed, moving over slightly so she could sit.

"Thank you, O wondrous saviour of the suffering", I reply. Oh god I hope that didn't sound too sarcastic…

I needn't have worried, although considering I do whenever I'm talking to her, I guess its to be expected.

"Hey Tawny, are you walking home today?" she asks.

"Yeah, mom's at some meeting and dad works late. Why?".

"Can I walk with you? My car's at the garage, something to do with the gears."

"Sure you can" I say, happy at the prospect of spending time alone with her. Just me and Ren Stevens, the most delectable creature to grace gods earth.

We sit in silence for a while, her immersed in a book, me absent-mindedly doodling in my notebook.

I look around the room and groan inwardly as I notice Ren's boyfriend Jason come through the doorway. No way, This is not what I need right now. If he comes over here she'll kiss him and I'll have to act like it doesn't make me want to strangle him to death…..It's not easy. But surprisingly enough he just looks around, sees Ren and leaves. Strange, I think to myself. Next to me, Ren lets out a breath I didn't know she'd been holding. I give her a quizzical look. And ask if she's okay. She looks uneasy.

"Err, yeah, I'm fine" she replies. " It's just…..I broke up with him at lunchtime today."

I look at her with a mixture of curiousness and sympathy.

"You okay with it?" I ask, trying to be sympathetic for her sake and hold in my utter joy at the fact that I don't have to put up with him anymore.

"I'm great actually, I guess we had our differences."

I smile. "I know what you mean" I reply, and we both grin at the memory of the last time I dated Louis. Back then I was only just realising my feelings for her, and Louis and I had an eventful break up where I accused him of being a mindless, irresponsible brat and he'd told me I was a selfish, snobby princess. The fight had been short, and we were good friends again only the next day, but we never forgot that deep down, we were and are just too different.

"I'm glad you broke up with him." I state truthfully.

"You're well shot of him"

She smiles at me and pulls me into a hug, catching me totally off guard.

"Thanks Tawny, You're an angel" she says, and I laugh nervously as I try to ignore the fact that her breasts are pressing against mine through her sweater and that she smells inexplicitly like vanilla. It feels right, being here in her arms, and god ,does she feel good.

I don't think that I'm _in_ love with her, not yet,I'n not ready for that. But I am falling in love. Every day, every time I see Ren or talk to her, I fall a little harder.

So for now, my days are a multitude of happiness,confusion, love and tears. And recently I've been acting like a schoolgirl with a crush....................which makes sense conclusively...........


	2. Where is Your Heart?

Hey again, Sorry this took me Sooo long. The thing is, I had a hiatus from Even Stevens, and yes, it did last for almost a year. Thankies to all my reviewers, and I swear, It won't happen again!

Oh well, back to school soon.

So here you are, one chapter two.

This chappie is Rens POV, she's interesting to write, I'll tell you that. I find I relate much better to Tawny.

Disclaimer: Like I said, Don't own, wish I did.

Enjoy!

Where Is Your Heart:

Well today, I figured out two things. Number one: no one at this absolute nutcase of a school has any idea of who I am, and number two: My life is completely out of control.

What happened was this: I came into homeroom today while everyone in the class seemed to be talking about Larry Beale's party. Now I have absolutely no intention of going, but did they really have tostop talking when I came into the room. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm the mother of the class, responsible Ren, as usual.

" So what's up guys?" I asked, wandering over to the group in the middle of the room. They all turned, pretending like they hadn't seen me or something.They always do. 'Ooh, here comes Ren, the girl withno life. Teachers pet might tattle and ruin our fun' It's always the same.

This time was no different.

"Oh, hey Ren". Monique said. " We were just talking about the party. I...didn't think you would really be interested."

I looked at her blankly. "Why would I not be interested?" I asked slowly, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

They then proceeded to tell me, and this is what I derived from the conversation.

I always seem so 'serious about other things'. I am the only girl in my eleventh grade homeroom class to still be a virgin. I am also the only one without a life. I don't have a boyfriend, I don't seem to want one, and god forbid, I'm different. The dreaded 'D' word.

Why is it my fault if I don't want to sleep around? They don't know anything about me. If only they could see who I really am...they wouldn't think I was so perfect. If they knew the truth...

But they don't. No one does, and there's no one I can tell. No one who can understand. It's not like I'm being pathetic, but I actually am waiting for the right person. I know what they'd all say, there is no 'right person'. But for me there is. And she's perfect,

Yes, that's right, _she. _Now you see the dilemma. Ren Stevens, into girls, who would believe it? No, neither would I until recently. Until last month, actually.

God...what can I say about Tawny...

She's amazing, really. She was always just Louis' little friend, a kid who him and Twitty hung around. But I realise now how different she is, how wonderful...

I'm mooning. I can't believe it, Ren Stevens doesn't _do that_!

But then again, who _is_ Ren Stevens? I sure don't know. May be I know who I _used_ to be, the responsible, clued in, calm, collected teachers pet who always had herself and everyone else figured out. She was practically perfect in every way.

I'm not like that anymore, I'm not perfect. I'm confused and disorientated. At least I am on the inside, on the outside, I'm the same old Ren, captain of almost every club at Lawrence High School, straight A student and a definite candidate for head of the Student Council.

I know that I can't let people see that I'm different, that is something I can't afford to do. It means questions, questions that I won't be able to answer and it will lead to lies. Lies that I can't tell.

So back to Tawny. God, she isn't even my type. Not that I have a type, mind you, but if I did, I didn't ever think it would be gothy girls! Or girls, for that matter, but life's funny that way.

So this brings me to the question which is eating away at me; why don't I just tell her? What do I have to lose as opposed to what I have to gain?

Because for the first time in my life I am utterly scared out of my wits. What would she think of me? I feel like I'd be taking advantage of her, she's always looked up to me, this I know, and I just had to, for the first time in my life, let my hormones get completely out of control and fall for her.

For now, I have to make my way down to the garage, drag myself up from my bed where I have been cursing all aspects of my life ever since I got home from school. Come on, Ren , this was your idea to get the band started again...I need therapy.

"Well, I't seems we do actually have a vocalist!" Louis announced as I walked into the garage where the rest of the band was already set up, Beans in the corner fixing an amp. The kid was still very strange, although he had matured since third grade. Which was a slight development. I mean, now his voice was deeper.

" Shut it shrimp", I said to Louis, moving into place in front of the microphone. Ahh...just like old times. Except that back then I wasn't quite so interested in the keyboard player.

" So", I continued. " What do we have?" Everyone looked around at each other. Silence.

"Right", I continued. "Nothing. So, we need some songs. If anyone gets any ideas, go ahead".

Louis spoke up. "Hey Tawny, weren't you saying you had some stuff in that notebook you always carry around. It was your idea to start up the band again"

Tawny opened her mounth and blushed slightly. Wow, Tawny Dean blushing, it's a miracle.

"I, ahh, don't have much", she stammered. " Nothing good".

I smiled at her, cute, she was being nervous. Well, I for one wanted to see these songs.

"Come on, Tawny, I bet they're great" I said, reaching my hand out for the black notebook she kept with her at all times. I'd always wanted to see what was in it. My joy was short-lived, however, she kept the book close.

"Okay", she agreed. " But only if you let me copy the songs out of the book".

I sighed. "Alright then".

As Tawny began to copy, I sat on an amp, watching her. I wondered why she was so protective of that book. Even on this hot Sacramento afternoon, she looked perfect, her long black hair swept back into a sleek ponytail, and the short black skirt she was wearing climbing far too high up her legs and affecting me in ways I shouldn't be affected!

We all sat in silence for a while, the only sould the scratch of Tawny's pen on paper. As far as I was concerned, the atmosphere in the room was far too tense for my liking, so I stood up, muttered something about needing a drink, and headed into the kitchen.

I flopped on to a chair and buried my head in my hands, resisting the urge to bang my head repeatedly against the solid oak table. I sat there for what must have been about five minutes, the same words repeating over and over in my head...damn her, damn her, damn her, damn her...

"Ren?"

A familiar voice startled me out of my reverie, and turning around sharply, I came face to face with the person I had been so forcibly 'damning' only sconds before.

"Oh, hey Tawny" I said, forcing a smile onto my face.

"I was told to come find you" she said, looking at me strangely.

I stood up and walked over to the fridge

"Oh, yeah" I said " Wait a sec, I'll just get the drink I actually came up here to get, and then come down" I said, smiling at her and feeling slightly sheepish.

She came into the kitchen and grabbed a can of soda from the fridge.

"Yea, that drink sounds like a great idea" she laughed.

The kitchen fell silent yet again, you would have had to be stupid or dead to not feel the tension in the room at that moment. Tawny finally broke the silence.

"Ren, err...are you okay? you've been a little strange lately and I was just wondering...never mind."

I was curious.

"No, what were you going to say?"

She avoided meeting my eyes.

"Ren...recently you've been kinda...weird towards me. It's like you don't want to be around me or something. We've always been pretty good friends, haven't we? I know I'm considered more Louis' friend than yours, but..." she paused, and raised her eyes to meet mine. "I really like you Ren. I miss the days when we used to spend more time together."

I stared at her, my mouth slightly open_. Hello, brain? Wake up? Attention brain, not hormones!_

It took me a few seconds to reply.

"Tawny...It's not anything like that..."

I suddenly had to get out of there, it was either run or do something incredibly stupid.

"I'm sorry Tawny...I can't talk about this now". I made the mistake of looking into her hurt eyes as I left. Walking away, I wanted to hit myself.

_'Ren Stevens, you put the bi in bitch.', _I thought as I walked back into the garage.


End file.
